Do you make New Year’s resolutions? What is your first thought when you hear the word resolution? I personally have never been successful at them. I, historically, probably did worse than the statistics, which say that most people fall off by “Quitter’s Day” which is the 2nd Friday of January. Does this happen to you too? Well, something changed several years ago; I decided I would try to just change some habits, instead. Maybe it is only semantics, but it made a difference for me. I think habit creation just made more sense to me than resolutions (which automatically made me think of failing).
So how long does it take to start a new habit? They used to say 21 days. Turns out, there is no hard and fast rule, and it depends on the person and the habit, but the average is a little over 60 days. Yet, most of the time, if you can do something for 90 days it will become part of your everyday life. So where do we start?
- Pick the habit you want to work on. I’ll share one I had to do (and will continue to do this new year): morning workouts.
- Gather anything and everything you will need to set yourself up for success. I have all my workout specific clothes, hair bands, socks, shoes, gloves all in one place in the basement (where I workout).
- Pick a time/current habit you want to pair this new habit with. I do better working out in the morning, so I have to make sure I get up early enough to get in my workout and then leave plenty of time for my regular morning duties (pack lunches, shuttle kids to school, get myself ready, etc.). This means 5:20am to give me 10 min to get downstairs and get ready before starting a 30 min workout. I need to be done by 6 to start the other morning duties.
- Reward yourself. This helps close the habit creation loop: Cue -> Routine -> Reward. My reward is coffee. I feel like that needs no explanation 🙂
- Repeat. Every. Day.
In this example the cue is the alarm clock going off at 5:20, then there is the routine, and lastly, the reward. Following this system, I can pretty consistently workout each morning. Some other things to note to help me with this, is I have to have workouts selected ahead of time (no winging-it for me). And if I am sick, I am allowed to rest instead, and I take a weekend day off as well.
Let’s say you want to start journaling. Get a journal and writing utensil, and decide when you want to do this new activity. A huge tip is to pair it with a habit you already have. So for journaling, you could pair it with your bedtime routine, or your lunch break. Anything that you already do regularly. Then pick a reward.
Now, when you are trying to stop something, say a “bad habit,” you use the same cycle of cue -> routine -> reward. You need to start with figuring out the cue that makes you want to do the “bad” thing. Is it boredom? hunger? loneliness? tiredness? emotion? Spend time identifying the cue and getting familiar with it. Then when you feel/experience it, come up with a new routine. If it is smoking, vaping, eating, maybe try chewing gum or sucking on hard candy (or some other oral occupation). If it is being critical of others, try not saying it (even if you have to stop yourself after you start) and then look for something to compliment instead. This will likely have its own reward built in, because it feels good to be kind. But if you successfully stop the criticism and make a compliment, then reward yourself.
Now, a common pitfall is the weekend. Many people do great M-F when they are busy with work and have a regular routine; but then the weekend comes and they “fall off the wagon.” It makes sense that our routines are different, but are there ways you can make a weekend routine to keep you on track? One thing I recommend for this New Year, is to actually start working on your routine BEFORE the 1st! Monday is a great day to start. Then you can have a 3-day head start on your new habit! Many people wait until the first because it has to do with food or alcohol and they know they want to enjoy that thing “one last time.” And though there is nothing wrong with that, you have to be prepared to be starting a new thing on a Thursday and then go into a weekend 2 days later. Or you can always decide to start a few days early and not choose to do the thing that you are determined to give up in less than a week anyway!
No matter what you do, I pray you have a happy and healthy new year. Cheers to 2026!
Note: My favorite book about habits is by Charles Duhigg. Much of this content was learned from his book, The Power of Habit.
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